Setting Boundaries During COVID

People pleasers,

this one is for you.

At this point in the pandemic, we all have developed some sense of our “new normal” (do you barf a little in your mouth when you hear that phrase too?).

Tagging along with this new normal are our opinions on what may or may not keep us safe, and what we are or are not comfortable with. If you are like me and display people-pleasing tendencies, then these scenarios give you extra anxiety.

Gatherings in person. Outside vs inside. Masks. Who’s been tested. When? How strict have you been in your pod? Did you quarantine after you traveled? 

Whether you are a people pleaser or not, these can be really stressful situations and conversations to have with loved ones. Especially with the holidays coming up, if you are looking for ways to communicate your thoughts and feelings to others without feeling scared and embarrassed, I am here to help walk you through it.

Why do I need boundaries? 

Boundaries are how you protect your physical, mental and emotional health, but also how you protect your energy. When you set a boundary, you are prioritizing yourself, your needs and your values.

What do boundaries look like?

Boundaries set limits and teach others how you want and deserve to be treated. They can look like:

• Saying honestly how something makes you feel

• Saying NO without guilt - whether it’s a gathering, situation, relationship or conversation

• Stating your needs

• Asking for help

• Making time to recharge on your own

• Limiting your own intake of media, news or other’s energy.

• Muting/unfollowing accounts

First, Get some Clarity 

Before you can stick to your boundaries, you need to define your boundaries. If you need to, make a list of what you are comfortable with and what you are not. What gives you anxiety, fear and a feeling of unsafety?

If certain situations get your heart racing, wondering in the back of your head, “is this a bad idea?”, and then you spend all night spiraling about “X” situation, chances are you need a boundary around that for next time. 

For me, anything in-person, with anyone outside of my pod gives me insane anxiety. Dining inside even just with my husband does it too. I have a long list of what is not going to fly with me, and if you do too, GOOD. Don’t make excuses for how certain situations make you feel. 

The Scripts 

Now that you are clear about what makes you feel safe or unsafe, you can openly and clearly communicate these limits to others.

For the “Casual” Hang

At this point, I don’t think we should have to justify not feeling comfortable spending time with others in person, but obviously that is not our reality. Here’s what to say:

For the larger event (wedding, birthday party, shower, etc.)

For reasons I will never understand, not everyone has decided to cancel or postpone their large event.

While you may feel extra pressure to be a good friend or relative and go to this event, remember there is an exponentially higher risk of transmission at large gatherings. Use this response and still send a gift.

For the non-masker

The reluctance to perform such a simple, potentially lifesaving gesture? Add it to my list of things I will never understand. For now, I digress. Here’s what to say for anyone not wearing a mask or wearing it incorrectly.

simple but to the point!

For the COVID Obsessed Friend:

We all have one. The friend or relative that is always wanting to talk about the latest and greatest of the pandemic. I was that person for a while so I get it, however it’s important you set limits to your intake of this information.

For the Emotional Friend:

We are all dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions, frustrations and fears. While it’s amazing you want to be there for your friends /family, constantly taking on the stress of someone else can be too much.

Others regularly venting or emotionally dumping on you can start to chip away at your own sense of stability so proceed with caution.

For the Partner

Setting boundaries with a partner you are living with could be a post all on it’s own that I will save for another time.

You may have completely differing opinions on how to handle the pandemic and that’s okay. The important thing is that both parties are heard, understood and that boundaries are respected.

I am not the relationship guru, but because you live with this person, I encourage you to use this as an opportunity to really get clear on how to best meet each other’s needs.

For the new love interest 

If you are dating in our COVID world, bless you.

General Boundary setting Tips 

• While making up fake plans sounds tempting, to prevent future problems just be honest. Healthy relationships are built on honesty. If they are real they will make it through this pandemic.

• Be as clear and straightforward as possible to avoid complications.

• Do not leave any room for debate. Skip the maybes, possibly, if this, if that middle zone. 

• You don’t need to defend your choices or apologize for them.

• It’s okay to change or reset your boundaries.

• Assertive doesn’t mean being judgy, mean or aggressive. Now is not the time to get into it about differing opinions. Try your best to remain kind, but direct.

• For opting out of in-person events where feelings may be hurt, do this over a phone call or better yet FaceTime. It will be easier for the recipient to see and hear that you are coming from a loving place.

• Do not be surprised if your response is not welcomed with the same kindness you delivered. It’s an emotionally charged time, BUT remind yourself that you are not responsible for the feelings of others.

Back-Up Plans

Let’s face it, things don’t always go to plan. Maybe an outdoor walk with a friend makes you comfortable, but after passing by a cute cafe they want to chat inside over coffee.

Maybe you agreed on having Thanksgiving with only immediate family in your pod, until your brother asks to bring his new tinder crush.

Maybe you promised yourself you would give yourself emotional space tonight, but a friend is going through a messy breakup.

My advice: do your best to anticipate where these problems may come up and how you will handle them. Have a back-up plan and extra mask available. These are the new problems we are all trying to deal with, but try your best  to stick to your guns.

There you have it! I hope this helps you create and maintain boundaries to respect your physical, mental and emotional health. Stay safe and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any specific questions, thoughts or ideas.

Feel free to drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

XO,

Jac

*Photos in this post courtesy of Shutterstock.

25 Journal Prompts for Winter in Quarantine

Dear Diary,

quarantine f*ing sucks.

As numbers continue to rise across the country and world, the mental and emotional toll is wearing on all of us. This can be especially overwhelming as we head into the darker, colder months of winter. It’s truly something we could have never anticipated.

By now you have probably already created a toolkit of self-care practices and strategies to get by. Personally, I have turned to walking outside, playing with my pups and my sacred PM ritual which now includes journaling.

You probably cannot stomach any more of these “unprecedented, difficult times, prioritize self care” cliches, so let’s get to the point.

You can learn more about my PM routine here.

Why Journal?

If you are already a lifetime journalist, great. If the last time you journaled consisted of your third grade crush’s name in hearts, that’s okay too! Journaling can be an extremely powerful tool in balancing your emotional and mental health. It calms the mind, releases negative feelings, works through triggers, and can balance anxiety/stress. One study showed just three days of expressive writing (20 minutes/day) a week reduced the symptoms of depression.

If you are like me and feel like a blank page alone with your thoughts is too intimidating, do not fear, journal prompts are here (good lord, now I’m rhyming? Jesus take the wheel)!

other pro-tips

• keep your journal on you bed stand or somewhere you can see it.

• incorporate a few minutes of journaling into your AM or PM routine.

• journaling can look different every day based on your daily or personal needs. The prompts below can help guide you and provide some clarity.

Grab your journal, pen, cozy blanket and cup of tea (or wine). Let’s jump in.

25 Journal Prompts for Winter in Quarantine

Sorting Emotions

Let’s face it, there has been a lot of sh*t to process the last few months. Life has changed incredibly. Work is different. School is different. Relationships are different. Almost every aspect of life is different, in almost every possible way.

We are all processing this the best we can, so here are some prompts to warm you up.

Sadness

Through all of this, it’s normal to feel a mixture of things. We are in the middle of a pandemic after all, and between the morbid news and sad reality of the world, it’s okay to be upset and feel loss. In fact, one third of American’s have reported feelings of depression and/or anxiety (CDC, 2020).

Anxiety

If it’s not bouts of sadness, anxiety has been my darkest enemy the past six months. It creeps up out of no where has left me paralyzed in fear, uncontrollably crying or unable to sleep.

When things feel increasingly unstable and unpredictable, it’s crucial to acknowledge it and work through it.

If you are wanting more, check out my Top Ten Grounding Practices.

Self-Love

If you are one of those people using this time to start a business, learn Polish or renovate your kitchen, god bless you. For the rest of us, please know you do not have to put extra pressure on yourself. We are surviving, and now more than ever, you need to be kind to yourself and give yourself space to just be.

Holiday Stress

The holidays already bring an enormous amount of stress. Throw a pandemic on top of this with family that doesn’t believe in masks or pressures you to attend in-person events, equals potential disaster for your well-being.

Know it’s okay to be disappointed (or happy) about changing holiday plans. Most importantly, stick to your boundaries regarding gatherings and do what makes you comfortable.

For more on Holiday wellness, check out my 10 Tips for Your Holiday To-DON’T List.

There you have it! I hope you can make a habit of carving special time for yourself to journal these emotions and feelings out. We are living through history, so worst case, you have depressing but maybe uplifting words to look back on one day.

If you are looking for other ways to prioritize your mental health this winter, check out my post here on beating the winter blues.

Yes, it’s normal to have some days when you feel down, however when you can’t find motivation to do your usual activities, see the resources below or talk to a licensed healthcare practitioner who can provide treatment or referrals to a counselor or therapist.

Stay safe and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any specific questions, thoughts or ideas. Feel free to drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

resources

Learn the warning sides of suicide and how to help loved ones in need

If you feel overwhelmed beyond your limits by sadness, depression, or anxiety, if you have had hurting or killing yourself, call 911. You can also call or text one of these crisis hotlines for immediate response:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat . If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline: 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727). Get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area. Speak to a live person, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST.

10 Grounding Practices to Reconnect

Staying grounded

is something I have always struggled with.

Spacey, with my head in the clouds as my loved ones say.

Etherealness is not always a flaw, but oftentimes you lose connection to your own body and surroundings.

does this sound like you? 

• Constantly rushing, yet you can’t get anything done

• Scatterbrained, unable to focus

• Always forgetting where you put things - wallet, keys, phone, etc

• Clumsy / always bumping into things. Stubbing your toes, waking up with bruises on your shins when you don’t even remember running into something

• Overwhelmed with emotions and you aren’t exactly sure why

• Feeling emotionally and mentally drained

• You are having a conversation with someone and realize you have no idea what they were saying

• Mindlessly scrolling on social media

• Difficulty finishing projects 

• Great at distracting yourself with busy work, podcasts, music, media, conversations so you aren’t alone in your own thoughts

• Feeling a little lost, unsure and less connected to your purpose

If you can relate, these are telltale sounds you are not very grounded. And that’s okay. We are all going through a collective trauma. The pandemic has us in survival mode, but being forced in stillness.

If you want to feeling more centered, calm and grounded in your energy, mentality and physical body, le't’s jump in. 

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Method 

If you are feeling anxiety or overwhelmed and you aren’t sure why, this is my favorite practice to ground yourself in the moment. Take a deep breath and bring awareness to the following:

The best part is, you don’t need anything to complete this one so you can do it anywhere, anytime.  

2. Belly Breathing

To release tension and emotional distress, connecting with your breath is a great tool you can also use any time of the day.

First get comfortable, close your eyes and put one arm over your heart and the other over your belly. Inhale through your nose, filling the belly allowing it to expand. Hold this breath for 3-4 seconds. Then exhale, feeling your stomach deflate. Repeat 10 times. 

3. Go outside or sit by a window 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, there is nothing more soothing that feeling fresh air on your skin. If you can’t get outside, go to the nearest window and put your face in the sun or focus on a piece of nature outside - a tree, the sky, whatever you can bring your attention to.

4. Mantra

Mantras - to break it down, “man,”= mind, and “tra,” = transport or vehicle. By definition, a mantra is a sound, vibration or saying used as an instrument of the mind to enter a deep state of meditation. There are all sorts of mantras that can be used for different purposes, but for grounding, close your eyes and rehearse these words:

5. Hold something with you

Think of a small, familiar object that can easily come with you in your pocket, purse or wallet wherever you go. Maybe it's a stone, special crystal, lucky charm on a necklace or bracelet. It can be a figurine or memento, anything meaningful to you.

When you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, come back to it. Close your eyes and bring your full attention to the shape, texture and temperature of the object.

6. Scent

There is nothing that brings my mind to the present moment more than smelling a familiar scent. It can be a perfume, essential oil, a candle, sage, incense, etc. Try to make a habit of keeping your favorite scents around or invest in a travel size roller to bring with you when anxiety creeps up on the go. My go-to lately is the root chakra roller from rocky mountain oils.

7. Root Chakra Meditation 

Chakras are areas of concentrations of vital life force within the body and exist in many spiritual practices including yoga. Running from the base of the spine to the top of the head, the seven chakras are each linked to organs, emotional and mental states, physical health, disease, colors and so much more.

To connect with your root chakra, which is all about support, survival, security and grounding, try this meditation:

This meditation was adapted from A Little Bit of Chakras: An Introduction to Energy Healing by Amy Leigh and Chad Mercree

8. Take your shoes and socks off

Going barefoot, also known as “earthing”, is a well-known and beloved grounding practice for many. Getting into the habit of stepping outside on the actual Earth (the dirt, grass or yes, concrete for us city folks) first thing in the morning is an excellent daily grounding practice to incorporate into your routine. (You can check out my Fall PM routine HERE).

To make the most of this, close your eyes and feel the ground beneath you, envisioning your feet physically being rooted into the earth. Visualize your feet growing roots and becoming one with the Earth. With each breath you feel a stronger connection down your shins, calves, ankles to the toes until your whole body feels strong, rooted and connected. 

9. Roast some veggies 

On of my favorite Ayurvedic grounding tips is to incorporate root vegetables and foods that grow near the earth. These include parsnips, carrots, beets, rutabagas, sweet potatoes, yams, onions, garlic, shallots, pumpkins, squash, zucchini, leeks and asparagus.

Besides roasting, opt for soups, stews a and chilis in fall and winter to keep the body, mind and emotions in balance.

10. Tapping 

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) or tapping, focuses on the meridian points - or energy hot spots — to restore balance to your body’s energy. Based on Chinese medicine, tapping has been used for anxiety and PTSD. While there are many techniques, you can simply tap on the forehead, between the eyebrows, on the chin or even over your heart space. Check out this video if you need a visual for what I am talking about.

I hope these grounding practices can help you feel more stable, strong and connected this season. There are tons of grounding and mindfulness practices out there, so if none of these stick, keep searching!

If you are looking for more ways to support your mental and emotional health during this time, see my post on beating the winter blues below. Stay safe and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any specific questions, thoughts or ideas.

Feel free to drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

references 

The Chopra Center

A Little Bit of Chakras: An Introduction to Energy Healing by Amy Leigh and Chad Mercree

My Nighttime Routine

The start of a successful day,

really begins the night before.

While morning routine’s tend to get all the hype, I am here to tell you why the PM routine is really where it’s at, plus a look into my daily nighttime rituals and routine.

The importance of routines 

Many of us spend all day putting the needs of others before our own. We rush around with to-do lists, responsibilities, keep busy and before you know it, it’s time to hit the sheets before we do it all over again.

Having regular morning and nighttime routines helps find consistency throughout the day and has even been shown to manage stress and anxiety. In our current state of the world, I have relied on my routines more than ever and have found profound comfort in them.

Prioritize 

Take a moment to answer this question: what does prioritizing your needs look like to you? For me, it’s finding a sense of peace and comfort at the end of the day in order to ensure restful sleep. It’s creating meaningful rituals and sticking to them, to grant myself some consistency in our ever-changing, fast-paced world. 

Nighttime routines will not look the same for everyone, especially if you work shift jobs and have crazy hours overnight or have kiddos to prioritize. However, while we are in the midst of the pandemic, I really encourage you to make changes where you can. Even if it’s just turning notifications off an hour before bed or journaling for five minutes, we all deserve sacred time at the end of the day. 

my routine 

My PM routine does not always look like this but at the very least I do turn off devices an hour before bed, dim the lights and try for at least 7.5 hours of sleep. Your nighttime routine may look totally different and that’s okay! The point is to create sacred time for yourself filled with peace, comfort and love.

2 hours before bed: 8:30PM 

• I actually set an alarm at 8:30PM that reminds me it’s time to wind down. If you want to try this, pick a soothing song you love, not a traditional beeping alarm that freaks your nervous system out.

• First, I gather my belongings for the next day, make my lunch, grab snacks and fill up my water bottle.

• Set out tomorrow’s workout clothes & work clothes to try to make my mornings as easy as possible. If I see the workout clothes there, I’m more likely to do it or at least stretch or walk.

• Tidy up the living room and kitchen. There is nothing worse than waking up to dirty dishes!

• When I finally feel prepped for tomorrow, I “set the mood” as my husband likes to say. I dim the lights, light a candle and leave a few lamps on low.

• Notifications off and I try to put my phone away from me. Right now, I am trying to get into the habit of throwing it on the charger in the other room.

• Whatever I have left is quality time spent with my husband and our pups. We love watching movies and fun TV series together, but whatever we do we really appreciate this time! 

1 hours before bed: 9:30PM

• Throw some water in the kettle and make my PM latte. Anything works as long as it’s caffeine free. Sometimes I like to add vegan collagen or adaptogens that promote relaxation like reishi. I try not to recommend supplements on here (ALWAYS talk to your healthcare provider first), but sometimes I take magnesium and/or melatonin to aid with sleep.

my go-to is the 5 MINUTE VEGAN GOLDEN MILK FROM THE MINIMALIST BAKER. if i am not feeling so fancy, a quick pot of chamomile does the trick!

• Bring my hot drink to the bedroom/bathroom and turn on some soft music. I love podcasts but I try to really decrease any stimulation at this point (I listen to THIS playlist).

• I brush my teeth/floss and do my nightly skincare routine. I love having my latte or tea with me because it reminds me that beauty begins from the inside out!

• My skincare routine is my time of the day where I feel zero guilt in feeling luxurious and indulgent. I have changed this routine over the years, but currently I oil cleanse, double cleanse with the Osea Ocean Cleanser, spritz with Josh Rosebrook Hydrating Accelerator and rotate between a few different PM serums/treatments.

You can click here to see my natural skincare tips and favorite products.

• If I have time I love to treat myself to a mask 2-3x a week and sip on my latte.

• Once my skincare is done I journal for a few minutes in bed. People always recommend practicing gratitude in the morning, but I love writing three things I was extra grateful for that day. It really shifts my focus and calms me right before bed. I keep this journal and pen on my bedside table so I always remember!

• Usually journaling is enough to get me sleepy, but I also keep a book next to the bed which usually does the trick.

my favorite candle from slow made + osea’s anti-aging body balm to lather up my neck, chest, arms and hands - which are unfortunately overlooked by many skincare routines!

• When it’s time to shut my eyes I grab my REMedy sleep mask from BLUBlox that keeps all light out.

• Then, I ALWAYS do a quick relaxation meditation. You can listen to it here, but I now just do it in my own head. You take a few breaths and consciously bring awareness to each part of the body, create space, dissolve tension and make that part as comfortable as possible. For example, I start with my feet and make sure they are comfortable and relaxed. If not then I move them until they feel perfectly cozy. Then I work my way up-legs, hips, back, arms, shoulders, neck, head. This sounds elementary but try it! You will be surprised at how often you just hop into bed without making yourself as comfortable as possible before falling asleep.

• I am still feeling like I’m not calm enough for sleep I will leave on a guided meditation or calming music, but that’s about it!

GARy is ready for bed too!

Other sleep hygiene tips

• create a routine around the same time every night, consistency is KEY

• aim for 7-9 hours of sleep/night 

• bedroom should be dark and cool

• stay away from caffeine after 3PM

• avoid large meals/alcohol or too many fluids right before bed

• exercise during the day will aid sleep, but avoid strenuous exercise too close to bedtime 

• if you are really struggling to sleep, don’t fight it and keep staring at the ceiling checking your phone. Get up, drink a little water and find a boring book to read until you fall asleep

There you have it! I hope my help you create a solid PM routine and special time for yourself to promote restful sleep. If you are looking for other ways to prioritize your mental health this winter. post here on beating the winter blues.

Stay safe and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any specific questions, thoughts or ideas.Feel free to drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

25 Tips to Beating the Winter Blues

Winter During a Pandemic,

something we could have never anticipated.

This winter season may be one of the most difficult we see in our lifetime.

While COVID-19 cases continue to trend around the country, more than 40% of Americans have reported at least one adverse mental or behavioral health condition with one third reporting feelings of depression and/or anxiety (CDC, 2020).

The election.

Ongoing police violence. 

Economic uncertainty. 

Job Instability. 

Pandemic stress and COVID-19 despair. 

Sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight.

This is heavy sh*t, and if you are feeling it you are not alone.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

As we welcome the fall season, the days get shorter and darker and the temperatures drop. Even without the pandemic, the prevalence of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) ranges from 1.5% to 9%. 

While the specific cause of SAD remains unknown, it is believed many factors are at play. Overall, less exposure to light can lead to a cascade of physiologic and hormonal changes that disrupt your body’s internal clock. This disruption in the circadian rhythms, lower vitamin D levels, dysregulation of serotonin, and overproduction of melatonin all play a role.

Add in the increased loneliness and social isolation that accompanies winter in a pandemic...and we have another pandemic of sorts on our hands.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, consult your healthcare provider/mental health specialist and see the resources at the end of this post.

This holiday season will also bring an unprecedented amount of stress. We used to worry about getting our gift wrapping done and RSVPing to multiple holiday parties. Now we have to make decisions about COVID safety and potentially exposing ourselves to family members that refuse to wear masks, are in pandemic denial, or make unsettling political comments over the dining room table.

This will all be extra triggering, on top of the grief, loss, anxiety and uncomfortable family dynamics that can arise during the holiday season.

For many of us this fall will bring more than the typical winter blues, and we need to start preparing now for the mental and emotional toll winter in a pandemic may bring.

25 Tips for Beating the Winter Blues

1. Let the light in 

Yup, we’re starting with the obvious one. Even when it gets cold, find little ways throughout the day to get outside and get in the sun. Can you drink your hot coffee outside for 5 minutes or make it a habit to call a friend outside on a walk? Keep your warm jacket, socks, shoes and beanie by the door to make it easy and accessible for you to get outside.

always remember your SPF!

**A Note On Light Boxes/Light Therapy - while many swear by these, preventive light therapy for people with a history of SAD is inconclusive. Light treatment is actually FDA-regulated, and ideally should be prescribed and supervised by a physician, qualified therapist or medical professional, which I am not. If you are interested, find out more from your doctor!

2. Rearrange Your Furniture 

If you cannot regularly get outside, rearrange your desk at home or see if your workstation can be moved by a window. On top of finding more sun, changing up your furniture has this weird way of giving you a fresh feeling for the new season. If not, maybe this is the time to invest in a standing desk or lap desk you can use next to the window.

Worst case, just sit with your face in the sun when you can- for meals or during your afternoon pick-me-up latte.

3. Get A House Plant 

Can’t get outside much? My little hack to this is finding a green friend for a quick mood reset. Having a house plant (or dozens!) in your living or work space not only boosts your mood, it serves as a reminder that YOU need water and sunlight too. 

4. Perfect Your Routine 

To find a sense of normalcy and grounding, this is really the time to get on a schedule. Set a regular bed and wake time, ideally in the same half hour every morning/night. Having regular sleep and wake times will help you structure the day, avoid sluggishness, and regulate your rhythm. Then start every morning with consistency, even if it’s just a simple five minute routine of hot lemon water and journaling. AM/PM routines are the PERFECT time to incorporate any of these other habits listed here so test a few out and see what works.

5…Not Just Your Morning Routine

Morning routines get all the hype, but really I think nighttime routines are more important as we head into winter. The best way to get a successful start to the day, truly starts the night before. I literally set a 9:30PM alarm to remind me to start to wind down.

if you want a detailed look into my pm routine, click here!

Cozy up with a warm latte, light a candle and treat yourself to a fancy skincare regimen. Nighttime routines can look however you want, just make sure you are starting to calm your system down, turn down the lights and put your devices away.

6. Prioritize High Quality ZZZ’s

Setting up a solid PM routine will get you ready for restful sleep, but considering 1 in 3 adults don’t get enough sleep, we really need to do more. I like to keep my sleep space sacred with a lighthearted bedside table book to read before bed, a cup of tea, and my REMedy sleep mask from BLUBlox that keeps all light out. Other sleep hygiene tips include staying away from caffeine after 3PM, turning off devices an hour before bedtime, and avoiding large meals/alcohol right before bed.

7. Limit Media Intake

Forgot food diets, we all need a media diet this time of year. Did you know being on our phones actually makes us feel more lonely and isolated?

Between the tense political world and pandemic news, make sure you are taking breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news, podcasts and social media. Consider unfollowing or muting people spreading hysteria or constantly reposting information. Better yet, consider taking a full on social-media detox even if it’s just for a few days. Or choose one day a week to stay off of social media/news. If you are like me and really struggle with putting your phone away, try these apps to help you limit screen time.

8. Embrace Color

To bring a fresh feeling to your space, try to incorporate new & vibrant colors. This can be as simple as getting fresh flowers delivered every other week, putting on a bright pair of chunky earrings, finding a fun piece of art to put by your desk, to painting a room in your house a fresh color. As simple as it sounds, it’s a great way to instantly up your spirits.

9. Go for A Nature Walk

Getting outside has tons of benefits including boosting mood and the immune system. If you are in the city and nature isn’t super accessible, I guarantee there are some trees not too far away you can make a habit of spending some time near. I have made a new ritual of drinking my morning tea outside, even if it means having to bundle up. Hearing the birds chirp and feeling the cold wind first thing in the morning is seriously magical!

10. Pump Up the Jams 

To me there are not many things that can automatically transform my mood than a new playlist. I like to find a mix of songs that are great to cozy up to (like this playlist), but also lighter ones that lift my spirits right up (like this playlist!). Listen first thing in the morning, in the shower, while you are cooking or cleaning or before bed. Try to find a time that is consistent and have the playlist ready to go so all your have to think about is pressing play.

I get it, I am a huge podcast person too, but there is something incredibly therapeutic of choosing music over podcasting to curb anxiety.

11. Dance it out

Do you ever start listening to THAT song and you just can’t help but nod your head and bop to the beat? Put that song at the top of your playlist. Yep, go do it right now. Moving your body and dancing provides a release and immediate sense of happiness and optimism like no other. After I close my laptop for the day, I have got into the habit of putting on the song and ugly dancing it out in my office.

12. Join A Book Club

The next few tips are all about maintaining social connection during this time. I get it, the deeper into winter we go, the more inclined we are to stay in, but this just leads to more social isolation, loneliness and sadness. Make regular plans like joining a book club or meeting your besties for monthly full moon ceremonies. Book clubs are perfect for winter so you can cozy up with a candle and your monthly ready.

No one likes people that bail, so stay accountable. Make an advanced commitment to your group activity so that you are compelled to show up, even if it’s on zoom.

13. or a Netflix Club 

If books aren’t your thing, consider a “Netflix Club” with your friends and vow to binge a new series, season or documentary every month and meet up on zoom to spill the T on your show. The only issue I run into with one is I usually binge TV too fast…but let’s be real, this is an idea we can all commit to.

14. try A New Workout Class, with your friends

It’s harder than ever to get to the gym or yoga class, but exercise is one of the best ways to manage stress. Grab a few friends to stay accountable and come up with a low pressure plan that will make you move your body. This is the time for consistent, gentle workouts that get the blood pumping. During quarantine I have turned to The Class which is offered every hour on the hour and keep my yoga mat rolled out on the floor so I am more inclined to do a quick flow, stretch or steam a class. 

15. Meditate 

If you haven’t gotten into meditation yet, NOW is the time. My favorite tool to naturally restore balance to mind and body. The best part is you can use this anywhere to help diffuse anxiety. I love the Ziva Method and easy apps like Calm, Headspace and Insight Timer. Try to incorporate a quick meditation into your AM or PM routine, even if it’s just five minutes.

16. Journal it Out

Journaling is an extremely powerful tool that serves many purposes for balancing your emotional and mental health. It works to calm your mind, release negative feelings, work through triggers, and balance anxiety/stress. One study even showed three days of expressive writing (20 minutes/day) a week reduced the symptoms of depression.

To make sure I actually put the pen to paper, I keep my journal on my bed stand and make sure to write down my thoughts and feelings for at least a few minutes before bed. If you struggle with anxiety, you can also use these FIve Grounding Journaling Prompts.

17. Set Boundaries 

Now, more than ever, you need to learn how to set up clear boundaries. People can vary in their risk-tolerance levels with COVID, and if you know certain activities make your anxiety go through the roof, SAY NO. Don’t feel pressured to anything right now. Reasonable don’t feel bad about canceling or declining to protect yourself, your family and/or your mental health.

18. Book a staycation

Since traveling is off the market for most of us, consider making the most of what you have in your own community. AirBNBs and certain hotels are taking extra COVID precautions, or consider doing something actually at home, home if you are uncomfortable leaving. Block off a weekend for no work/obligations, make yourself a spa/meditation retreat at home or check-out these other tips.

19. Set Small Goals

For those of you utilizing this time to launch your business or write a book, major pat on the back for you. For the rest of us seeming to struggle just getting by, try setting smaller goals instead of larger, overwhelming goals. This will help you avoid burnout, celebrate the little victories and build confidence for more goals to come.

20. Do something for someone else

Research shows that helping others, even in small ways, not only feels good for the person in need, but for you too. If you have the emotional space, reach out to a friend to check-in on how they are really doing. This can also look like volunteering for a local organization or raising money for your favorite cause. My family has decided this year to skip all holiday gifts and provide gifts for a family in need instead. This is something we have talked about for years, but have never agreed to finalize until now. We are living in a time when so many people need help, so search around and you are bound to find something.

21. Master A Self Care Practice

All of these tips are really examples of self care, but really think about practices the help you decompress and reconnect. Winter is the perfect time to master this practice, so keep trying until you find something that works. Maybe it’s a date night with yourself, maybe it's cooking dinner and podcasting, or maybe it’s a luxurious skincare routine before bed. Remember, Self Care is Not Always a Bubble Bath so find out what self-care means to you. 

22. Thrift a Vintage Sweater 

A few years ago I came across this mustard color, bulky vintage sweater. It smells like the 1950s but every year when the seasons change, I take that sweater out of my drawer and say alright buddy, you and I are going to get through this winter together. See if your local thrift store is selling online or head to Poshmark or ThredUp for secondhand online. The subscription company Nuuly is also my current obsession and gets me excited each month for new cozy fall staples.

I also have been making it a point to dress up once a week for errands I actually need to leave the house for. As dumb as this sounds, I start to look forward to put on actual makeup and jeans once a week.

23. Find a New Go-To Recipe

Although you might be craving all the sugary foods, balancing your blood sugar is going to be key to regulating your physical health. High sugar and high carb snacks can mess with your hormones and cause inflammation, so go for foods with a lower glycemic index, health fats and omega-3s. Find comfort without the sugar crash with hearty soups, stews and chills.

My favorites are the Cozy Butternut, Sweet Potato, and Red Lentil Stew and Vegan Chili from OhSheGlows.

24. Be Kind to Yourself 

If you can’t commit to a steady workout routine, there are worse things in life.If you can’t find the motivation to stick with the side hustle for extra cash, let it be. Be kind to yourself and know that if you are feeling stress, anxiety and depression you are not alone. Give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel and don’t be so damn hard on yourself. No one was ready for this year, and it’s okay to take time to adjust and come back to these tips when you need them.

25. Don’t Hesitate to Get Help

These coming months will test us all, so if you are experiencing any symptoms of anxiety and/or depression that are unmanageable, reach out for help. Resist the urge to self-diagnose and self-treat. SAD is a real form of depression, so know when to seek a professional. Reach out to a loved friend or family member and consult your primary care provider or a mental health specialist. You may need to rule out medical causes (thyroid imbalance, viral illnesses, vitamin D, depression) beyond a seasonal aspect, or you may need more support. 

I have been seeing a therapist weekly from Betterhelp since the beginning of the pandemic. Yes, it’s normal to have some days when you feel down, however when you can’t find motivation to do your usual activities talk to a licensed healthcare practitioner who can provide treatment or referrals to a counselor or therapist.

I hope all of these were fun and helpful tips to beat off the winter blues. Stay safe and please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any specific questions, thoughts or ideas. Feel free to drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I’d love to hear from you!

resources

Learn the warning sides of suicide and how to help loved ones in need

If you feel overwhelmed beyond your limits by sadness, depression, or anxiety, if you have had hurting or killing yourself, call 911. You can also call or text one of these crisis hotlines for immediate response:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat . If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline: 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727). Get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area. Speak to a live person, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST.

References 

Mayo Clinic on Seasonal Affective Disorder

National Institute of Mental Health Seasonal Affective Disorder

Nussbaumer, B., Forneris, C., (20190. Light therapy for preventing seasonal affective disorder. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews Intervention Version. https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD011269.pub3

Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Know to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Breast Health, Let's Talk About It

Breasts.

“Mythologized, scandalized, and politicized, kept under wraps and veiled from view- our breasts” - Nadine Artemis.

They embody the female form and provide an undervalued role in sustaining life, yet for many women our breasts have become a burden, a source of fear. Right now one in eight women in the United States will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer in their lifetime. We are truly in the midst of a breast cancer epidemic. 

Sadly, the rising rates of breast health problems we face are seriously misunderstood, with no clear cut answers. We known these numbers certainly cannot be caused by one single factor, and that a variety of internal and external factors must be at play. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, scared and discouraged with all of the information out there. 

Breast cancer awareness does not stop after October!

However, it’s important to know we can start somewhere, we can advocate for our health, and we can support each other in the process to the best of our abilities.

Please note this is by no means a replacement for an appointment with your primary care provider. We all have different risk factors, genetic predispositions, diet or activity restrictions, environments and thus have different prevention, risk management, and screening needs. To read my full disclaimer click here.

So, how can we do our best to prevent breast cancer and show our girls the love and care they deserve? From self-exams to the deodorant debate, I’ve got you covered with breast health tips and answers to your most burning breast cancer related questions. From the latest research and recommendations, let’s start with the tips.

TIPS FOR BETTER BREAST HEALTH

Know Your Girls

A discussion on breast health must begin with a sense of knowing what is normal for your breasts, aka breast awareness. Get to know your normal-how they vary in sensitivity, texture and size, and how they may differ during your phases of your menstrual cycle, pregnancy, aging, or if you are on hormonal birth control. 

Currently, the US Preventative Task Force and most updated practice guidelines no longer recommend self exams, due to recent evidence based studies showing they provide no reduction in mortality but increases in false-positives and medical resources. However, organizations including the American Cancer Society (ACS) state: “women should be familiar with how their breasts normally look and feel and should report any changes to a health care provider right away”.

Recommendations are always changing so try to stay informed!

Get Comfortable With Your Girls 

To get familiar with your breasts, you can do regular self massage and look at your breasts in the mirror. Massage is also great to increase circulation and lymphatic drainage. With an organic oil or in the shower, massage your breasts getting well into your armpits that house your many lymph nodes. A little tenderness, swelling or unevenness can all be normal before or during your menstrual cycle. Any dramatic changes in texture, appearance, discharge or lumping should be reported to your healthcare provider ASAP. 

If you still choose to do regular self exams, that is up to you and the discretion of your provider. My mom was one of the rare cases that did self-diagnose from a self-exam, and would strangle me if I didn’t at least provide you with the proper technique or learning video. I myself regularly massage at least once a month, especially since I have a family history.

Let Your Girls Breathe 

Although the literature does not show wearing tight bras can or will cause breast cancer (if it did Victoria’s Secret would be fresh out of business), constant obstruction of circulation and lymphatic drainage from wearing tights bras is not a good idea. When you take your bra off, make sure there are no red marks left behind, as this could be a sign of constriction and blocked flow. I try to go braless as often as possible (the hippies were on to something) and when I do wear one, I prefer wireless bras like the Bliss Bra from Harper Wilde. 

As part of their sustainable supply chain, Harper Wilde also offers a bra recycling program, and partners with Girls, Inc for which a portion of purchase goes to support mentorship and educational programming for girls ages 6-18.

Eat to Prevent

Did you know you can actually incorporate an anti-cancer diet (Servan-Schreiber, 2017)? That’s right, certain foods are incredible at detoxifying the body, supporting the immune system, and defending against carcinogenic substances to promote cancer cell death. In addition they can help block the development of new vessels needed for tumor growth (Servan-Schreiber, 2017). 

Aim for five to eight servings of fresh (and organic if possible) fruits and vegetables per day. Put an emphasis on cruciferous veggies like broccoli, cabbage, kale, and foods high in antioxidants like berries, green tea, citrus fruits, and pomegranate.

Omega-3s have also been correlated to reduced breast cancer. Turns out they have plenty other benefits that protect your brain, promote cardiovascular health, regulate hormones, and prevent chronic diseases. You can find omega-3s in organic fatty fish, walnuts, flaxseed and other plant-based sources. 

Cut Down On Sugar

Although the relationship between obesity and breast cancer is not completely understood, sugar specifically has been shown to promote factors of inflammation and stimulate tumor cell growth. Studies suggest it is not obesity per se that is the risk factor, but rather high insulin levels (the level of sugar in the diet) that tends to be associated with excessive body weight, thus making it a risk factor for breast cancer (Gunter, 2009). 

Building off your balanced diet, limit refined sugars and anything with a high glycemic index including sweets, syrups (fructose, dextrose, maple in small amounts), jams, jellies and sweetened drinks. Opt for natural sweeteners: stevia, xylitol, or dark chocolate (>70% cocoa). Instead of white flours (white bread, rice, pasta, muffins, bagels), go for whole grains, sourdough bread, basmati, thai or brown rice, quinoa, oats, millet, or buckwheat. And instead of white potatoes, go for yams, lentils, beans, and veggies.

Let’s Get Physical

Regular exercise has also been shown to have some protective effects against breast cancer risk, and may reduce morbidity in some advanced breast cancer cases.  Exercise not only reduces adipose (fat) tissue, the principal storage site of carcinogenic toxins, but it also balances hormones, boosts immune function, reduces blood sugar levels, decreases inflammation and the growth and spread of tumors (Servan-Schreiber, 2017).

The Cleveland Clinic recommends at least 30 minutes a day, 4-5 days a week, so get moving friends! Join a new fun fitness class or workout with a friend, just find something you love to keep you going back.

moving and de-stressing with yoga? sign me up!

Limit Booze

Limiting your drinks to a drink, as in one alcoholic beverage per day, can help decrease your risk of breast cancer. Not to be the fun police, but even just two drinks have been shown to increase your risk of breast cancer. For women already diagnosed, three or more drinks a week may put them at greater risk their breast cancer will recur. Try to limit your intake as much as possible, and if you do keep it to one drink friends. 

who needs more than one glass with a view like this?

Be Aware of Toxic Exposures

Potentially toxic substances in the environment could be a post (or book) of it’s own. We already know exposure to tobacco, radon, plutonium and asbestos are absolutely related to cancer, so definitely avoid those. However strong scientific suspicions now exist for lead, heavy metals, mercury, radiation and chemicals found in air pollution, plastics, materials, clothing, cleaners and personal care products.

Yes I am talking about regular house-hold products. Learn more about clean beauty and period cups as non-toxic options to protect yourself.

To limit toxic load in personal care and cleaning products, I use the Think Dirty app to see how products line up and head to panna.org for an alternative list to household chemicals, pesticides and insecticides. 

...Be Specifically Aware of Hormone Disruptors 

Some of these worrisome chemicals are known as hormone disruptors- pollutants and chemicals who’s structure imitates the structures of certain human hormones in the body. They can disrupt the synthesis, release, transport, metabolism, binding, and elimination of natural hormones (Kavlock, 1996). They can also mimic the actions of natural hormones and activate abnormal cell growth, as in tumors and cancer. 

just because studies are difficult to construct and exposures have not been proven in humans (yet), does not mean they are without danger.

Pertinent to breast cancer, the hormone disruptor group xenoestrogens found in herbicides, pesticides, certain plastics, beauty and household products imitate estrogen. Studies are now showing developmental exposure to endocrine disruptors are suspected to be one of the main factors responsible for the increased incidence of breast cancer in industrialized countries (Soto, 2015). Again, know what is in your personal care products, cleaning products, plastics and materials in your home, water, and air. You can learn more about endocrine disruptors and how they affect multiple systems in the body at the Environmental Working Group website.  

Enjoy Some Sun

Recent studies (1, 2) have shown vitamin D triggers actions consistent with breast cancer prevention. On the flip side, breast cancer survivors with low vitamin D levels may have a greater risk of disease recurrence.

The most bioavailable source of vitamin D is from the sun and UVB rays, hence it’s nickname is the “sunshine vitamin”. Now, this is where things get confusing with vitamin D. Clothing and some sunscreen can hinder, if not completely block vitamin D absorption and production in the body.

Research is conflicting on how much sun is needed (most suggest as little as 8-15 minutes a few times a week) but it’s still vital to protect yourself from skin cancer, so still use sunscreen!

As the debate continues on wearing sunscreen to protect your skin versus unobstructed vitamin D absorption, practice sensible photoprotection. This means wearing hats, sunglasses, and sun protective clothing when out in the sun.

It’s always beneficial to have your vitamin D level checked, preferably during winter months. If your levels are low, talk to your doctor about taking a vitamin D3 supplement and incorporating vitamin D rich food like salmon, canned tuna, egg yolks and mushrooms into your diet. 

Know Your Screening Recommendations

From the American Cancer Society to the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, there are conflicting recommendations on when to start mammograms and how often to do them. Bottom line is to know your options, your family history, risk factors and talk about them with your provider. If you do have a family history (or are unsure about it), talk to your doctor about genetic testing to make an educated and supported decision.

As a starting point, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has a helpful document comparing all current recommendations in terms of self-exams, genetic testing, and mammograms. While some organizations give the option of screening at age 40, the US Preventive Services Task Force now recommends that women should avoid getting mammograms until age fifty due to unnecessary radiation expsosure and false-positives. 

To clarify: your provider’s role is to help you understand the benefits and risks of breast cancer screening in order to make your best informed decisions.

Before we wrap up, I am here to answer a few more hot topic questions related to breast health.

BREAST CANCER PREVENTION FAQs

What About Deodorant?

There are conflicting results of clinical proof linking deodorant specifically to breast cancer. However, aluminum and parabens- ingredients common in personal care products including generic deodorants have been found to have estrogren-mimicking effects and have even been found in breast tumor tissue. If you ask me, this one is a no brainer and at the very least it’s better safe than sorry. You can find nontoxic, aluminum free deodorants like Native or Tom’s (at comparable prices to generic deodorant) almost anywhere these days at your local Target, pharmacy or convenience store. There’s really no reason not to make the switch.

What About My Cell Phone?

If you ask the National Institute of Health (NIH), the answer to this simply is no. However, (to me this is a big however) most studies have focused on people using cell phones for only five years or less. We will be the first to have these devices for decades, and although we are unsure of long term effects, recent data suggests that their electromagnetic fields (EMFs) are not without danger.

To take precautionary measures with your phone: stay as far away as possible when talking on the phone, use headphones/put it on speaker, restrict calls to short calls or choose texting instead to reduce EMF exposure. When you use the phone, regularly change the ear you use. Also, do not constantly keep it on your person, especially at night. Also ladies, please do not workout with your cell phone in your sports bra. Recently, I started using Safe Sleeve for an EMF blocking phone and laptop case, which I am loving for protection day and night. Again, my personal opinion is if I need a phone case, why wouldn’t I just protect myself from EMFs anyways?

What About Hormonal Birth Control (HBC)?

You guessed it, HBC is another controversial subject. While some oral contraceptives have been found to raise breast cancer risk, a recent study from Harvard suggests hormonal birth control can indeed raise a woman’s breast cancer risk, but only by a small amount. Although weak correlations and primarily observational studies cannot definitively establish an exposure relationship with HBC, it’s best to know the risks and discuss them with your primary care provider, OB/GYN or nurse practitioner.

What About Diet Soda?

Again, although studies have not proved this relationship, soft drinks are typically full of calories and sugar that can lead to obesity, which we know is for sure related to breast cancer. Artificial sweeteners and chemicals found in diet soda like aspartame, sucralose and saccharin can also throw off your body’s natural metabolic rate. So in short, avoid regular and diet sodas as much as your can.

What About My Reproductive Timeline?

Yes, according to the NIH your reproductive timeline matters. Studies have related increased risk of breast cancer to having the first pregnancy after age 30 and not breastfeeding. Of course, many factors go into family planning so as always consult your primary care provider, OB/GYN, nurse practitioner or midwife.

So What DOESN’T Cause Cancer?

I get it. After diving deep down the things that may or may not be related to breast cancer, it can feel really overwhelming, exhausting and plain old depressing. The truth is, science has been unable to prove much, but we can use our common sense, resources and studies that are out there to make better decisions. Know that one of these things will not likely cause breast cancer tomorrow, but a combination of these lifestyle choices and exposures over time is what we have to consider. Try your best to stay positive, take control of your health and be a constant learner.

There ya have it friends! I hope this was an educational and resourceful introduction to the lifestyle changes you can make not just for preventing breast cancer, but for all cancer and disease prevention. To read more, check out my related post Top Ten Lifestyle Tips for Preventing Cancer. Please share or talk about this with your sisters, friends, co-workers and loved ones. We can all support each other in healthier lives!

Thoughts, questions, concerns? Comment below or find me on social media. I would love to hear from you!

XO,

Jac

References:

Cleveland Clinic (2015) Exercise More to Reduce Breast Cancer Risk.

Center for Disease Control - Breast Cancer

Gunter, M. J., et al, (2009). Insulin, Insulin-Like Growth Factor-I, and Risk of Breast Cancer in Postmenopaulsal Women. Journal of the National Cancer Institute 101. 48-6

Jacobs, E. (2016).Vitamin D and Colorectal, Breast, and Prostate Cancers: A Review of the Epidemiological Evidence. Journal of Cancer. 7(3): 232–240

Kortenkamp, A., (2008). Breast Cancer and Exposure to Hormonally Active Chemicals- An Appraisal of the Scientific Evidence. London: Chemical Health Monitor Alliance.

Loef M., Malach H., et al. (2013) The omega-6/omega/-3 ratio and dementia or cognitive decline: a systematic review on human studies and biological evidence. J Nutr Gerontol Gariatr. 32(1:):1-23. doi: 10.1080/21551197.2012.752335.

Lorente-Serbian D., Costas AG, et al., Role of omega-3 fatty acids in obesity, metabolic syndrome, and cardiovascular diseases: a review of the evidence. J Physiol Biochem. 2013. 69(3):633-651.  doi: 10.1007/s13105-013-0265-4.

Mayo Clinic - Breast Health

Medline Plus (2019) Breast Self Exam

Nair, R. (2012) Vitamin D: The "sunshine" vitamin. Journal of Pharmacol Pharmacother. 3(2):118-26. doi: 10.4103/0976-500X.95506.

National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences on Endocrine Disruptors

National Institute of Health on Omega-3 Fatty Acids

National Institute of Health on Cancer Stat Facts: Female Breast Cancer 

Rodgers KM, Udesky JO, Rudel RA, et al.(2018). Environmental chemicals and breast cancer: An updated review of epidemiological literature informed by biological mechanisms. Environmental Research. 160: 152-182. 

Servan-Schreiber (2017). Anti-caner a new way of life. New York, New York: Penguin Books. 

US Cancer Institute - Breast Cancer Prevention

Welsh (2017). Vitamin D and Breast Cancer: Past and Present. Journal of Steroid Biochem Mol Bio. 177:15-20.

World Health Organization - Cancer Prevention

Everything You Need to Know About Period Cups

Period Cups.

Maybe you have heard of them, maybe not.

Maybe you have been using one for years, or maybe you remember that one time your super granola, bohemian friend mentioned using one.

Growing up, my mom was somewhat of a hippie herself, so “natural” and “organic” was nothing new. However, two years ago my mom was unexpectedly diagnosed with breast cancer, an aggressive form known as Triple Negative. So when SHE, someone healthy, young, and somewhat aware of carcinogens went thought this, I instinctually started digging deep into the potential toxins our family, and my own body was being exposed to.

I took a hard look into the food I was consuming, the cleaning supplies in the house, and even my potentially unsafe mascara before even thinking to ask, “are my tampons toxic?”

Ultimately to protect my own health, I transitioned off hormonal birth control and to a reusable menstrual cup, and have not looked back since.

photo courtesy of dot cup

Before We Dive In…

Let’s take a moment to talk about period stigma.

You may have felt uncomfortable seeing the title of this article or seeing the photo of me holding my period cup. Women’s periods are so often thought of as “dirty”, “unsanitary” or...maybe even “gross”. Let me say, periods are a natural experience, a gift that should be celebrated.  There is absolutely nothing shameful or gross about periods, period cups OR any form of feminine products that handle period blood. Yes, period blood. I said it.  

There are communities all over the world that ostracize and humiliate girls and women during their cycles due to lack of health education and knowledge. On top of that, thousands of women and girls lack resources to manage their cycle, forcing them to miss school, work, and opportunities. 

Choosing a brand

There are a few reputable brands when choosing a cup, but my personal favorite is Dot Menstrual Cup, a woman-owned, US based company.  For every Dot Cup purchased, one is given to a woman or girl in need, allowing her to prioritize her education, work, and community involvement without monthly shame or interruption. To learn more about how this company is helping females across the globe, click here. Stay tuned until the end of this article for more resources!

There is absolutely nothing shameful or gross about periods, period cups OR any form of feminine products that handle period blood.

Alright! Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. 

What the H*LL is a Period Cup?

A period (or menstrual) cup is an eco-friendly, sustainable alternative to tampons that is worn in the vagina for up to 12 hours and emptied in the toilet after each use. In other words, instead of absorbing blood like a tampon, the cup catches it. This may seem like a foreign concept, but soon enough you will master the cup and be telling all your friends about it, so stay with me!

Why Should I Use One?

It’s Better for Your Health

The vagina is a highly permeable and sensitive space. Anything placed inside is absorbed quickly into the bloodstream, so we need to be sure about what products go up there and what ingredients are in those products. Generic tampons can have things like bleach, latex, odor neutralizers, dyes, pesticides, fragrances, and chemicals including dioxin and glyphosate- a “probably carcinogenic”  chemical as recently ruled by the World Health Organization. All that up your hoo-ha getting quickly absorbed into the blood? No thanks.

Menstrual cups are usually made of non-allergenic silicone. Approved menstrual cup brands can be found on the FDA website- you can see what they are made of and where they are manufactured. Another reason I love Dot? They are registered with the FDA and use medical-grade silicone approved for inter-body use, so you are safe here.

It’s Better for the Planet

It’s estimated 20 billion sanitary napkins, tampons and applicators (including boxes and wrappers) are dumped into North American landfills every year. On top of that, most people improperly dispose of these products by flushing them down the toilet, clogging our waterways and affecting our water quality. Your cup is reusable and if properly taken care of, can last up to a decade…so let’s do the math. By switching to the cup, you are saving well over 1,000 tampons from sitting in landfills. That’s a lot of tampon waste and money from your wallet being saved!

It’s More Convenient

It may take a few cycles to master the cup, but once you do I promise it is more convenient. No more late night runs to the convenience store since your cup is always at home. Don’t worry about leaks because cups hold more contents than tampons can absorb. Not to mention, packing one small cup versus an entire box of tampons or pads while traveling saves hella room. 

It’s F*ucking Empowering

Our cycles speak to us- if they are early, late, heavy, or light. Even the color and consistency of our flow are messages from our body. By using the cup you will become much more in tune with your body and cycle, truly empowering yourself for the now and the future. 

Ashley Mary , the artist behind the pouches

How to Use It

How to Insert It

First ALWAYS wash your hands with soap and rinse your cup out. Hold the cup with the opening facing up (stem down), and push one side of the rim in with your thumb. If it’s easier, roll and fold the opening, making a “C” shape. Insert it into the vagina, stem facing down. Use you fingers to make any adjustments and to make sure the cup is fully in place. Once it’s in, gently release the fold and the cup will open back up. Again, you can twist and adjust the cup into place- it should not be uncomfortable! If you are still confused you can find a photo diagram here. 

*Pro tip- shorter finger nails are better here, vaginal tissue is sensitive so be mindful!

How Long to Keep it in 

After no more than 12 hours, remove the cup and empty the contents into the toilet. You may need to do it sooner depending on the unique intensity of your flow. So if it feels full, empty it out and take note! Although the risk of using a cup is lower than using tampons, prevent infection and Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) with timely removal and rinsing.

How to Remove it 

Again wash your hands! Grab the stem of the cup and pretend like you are about to push out a baby or pass gas- this will help the cup naturally come out. Gently pull. You will meet a little resistance, so slowly work your way higher to the top of the cup, pinch and pull down to “de-suction” the cup. You may need to reposition your fingers to get a better hold and wiggle it out. Dump your blood in the toilet, rinse the cup with water, and re-insert. 

Illustration by Ali Makes Things

How to Clean it

Each day, wash your cup with natural soap (I like Dr. Bronner's  unscented).  If you're in public, just dump it and re-insert your cup without rinsing it, but remove and rinse right when you get home! At the end of the month place it in boiling water to remove any bacteria. I put it in a special, small “period-friendly” saucepan and place it in my cute storage pouch until next month.  

*Pro tip- in a public bathroom, still wash your hands before and bring in a wet paper towel before getting into the stall in case things get messy. 

FAQs

Does it hurt? The first time you insert the cup, it may feel uncomfortable but once it’s in, NO it should not hurt. If it does you may need to cut the stem to find the right fit for your shape, or try a different company with a smaller size. If inserting still hurts, turn to any form of natural lubrication or wet your hands. 

Does it leak? It shouldn’t! However for the first few times, get to know your flow and take note of how often you may need to change it. If a leak does happen, try removing it earlier, and when re-inserting, make sure the cup is open all the way and pushed up far enough. If in doubt, use a pair of Thinx period-proof undies for backup!

Can I sleep in it? Absolutely! I sleep with mine every night during my period and dump in the morning. 

Can I workout in it? Spin your heart out girl. I have done everything from Soul Cycle, to hot yoga, running and swimming in my cup. Yogis, be aware however you are not recommended to go upside down during your period. The contents could go back into your uterus so save your headstands for later. 

Can I have sex in it? Sorry but no sex while the cup is in.

What if I have an IUD? The data is conflicting on using an IUD and menstrual cup simultaneously. Please talk to your OB/GYN, midwife or women’s health nurse practitioner before making the switch.

Where can I find it?  You can purchase your Dot Cup online, on amazon or at your local retailer! Remember for every Dot Cup purchased, one is donated to a girl or woman in need, so your contribution is meaningful and appreciated! 

Remember, breaking the period taboo starts with our conversations. I encourage you to talk about this topic with your friends, sisters, women and MEN in your life who care about the reproductive health of themselves and women all over the world.

Talking about your period isn’t gross or weird, it’s empowering. 

For More

If you are looking to transition to less toxic products, check out my post on How to Make the Transition to Clean Beauty and 10 Ways to Start Living More Holistically NOW.

To Learn More About Women’s Health Issues & Period Stigma

Period End of Sentence - new Oscar winning documentary, yes it’s on Netflix

Periods Gone Public: Taking a Stand For Menstrual Equity by Jennifer Weiss-Wolf

Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and the Half the Sky Docuseries 

Period Power by  Nadya Okamoto 

Womancode by Alyssa Pitti to perfect your cycle or get it back

For a systematic review study done on the safety of menstrual cups, you can read more here.

I am grateful to partner with Dot Cup for this post. For more information head to their website dotforall.com, e-mail them at info@dotforall.com, or find Dot Cup on Instagram.

Have you tried a menstrual cup before? Please let me know your experience and if you have any further questions. Drop me a line in the comments or find me on social media, I would love to hear from you! 

10 Tips to Living More Holistically, NOW

Living Holistically

is probably easier than you think…

As you may have learned in Holistic Health 101, holistic health fundamentally takes the whole person into consideration- mind, body, spirit, emotions and environment. It looks at the root cause of disease, and believes you are an active participant in your health. Overall, holistic health is a way of life - it’s about making conscious decisions everyday to prioritize all aspects of your health (Eliopoulos, 2017).

Although this may sound intimidating, living more holistically does not mean you have to drastically change your life, turn into a total “woo-woo” spiritual yogi, or break the bank. Moreso, holistic health simplifies and brings it back to basics. By bringing awareness and adopting small changes to your everyday routine, a holistic approach of the body, mind, and soul can redefine your health and transform your overall well-being.

If you are ready to embrace a more holistic life, here are some ways to start. I promise, it’s not as far-fetched as you think.

1. EAT REAL FOOD, ESPECIALLY PLANTS

I didn’t say start an expensive juice cleanse. I didn’t say count your calories. I also didn’t say start the newest fad diet that promises weight loss and “health”. Instead, focus on incorporating REAL food- fruits, vegetables, whole grains into your choices every day. Listen to your body and ask what does it need? Give it something nourishing, meaning something that was not processed, came in a package or box, or has added sugar.

For me, I like a big bowl of greens with rice, beans, veggies, avocado - lots of flavor, full of nutrients and antioxidants to strengthen your immune system. Like I said, nothing fancy.

2. MOVE

Your body was designed to be active, so get moving.  Regular activity improves cardiovascular function, lowers the risk of cancer, increases your immune system, and helps strengthen and clarify the mind (Eliopoulos, 2017). Do something that makes your body feel good and something you actually ENJOY doing. Whether that’s a group fitness class, yoga, weights, dance or better yet get outside go for a walk, jog or bike ride.

3. PRIORITIZE SLEEP

If you asked my personal opinion this would be my #1 most important factor to change your health right now. I hear you...busy schedule, constant demands, no time. Think of it this way- by prioritizing your sleep you will be more productive during the waking hours. Start planning on 6-9 hours a night (whatever your body needs to feel rested) and set your grown-up bedtime.

our baby moose! not such a baby but he knows how to sleep!

If you are making the time but your sleep is disrupted, look at your caffeine intake, put technology away at least an hour before bed, or come up with a relaxing night routine before bed.

4. MANAGE STRESS

The data is out. Current research now states between 50-90% of health problems are linked to stress (Steward, 2013). The natural stress response of our adrenal glands during fight-or-flight is a evolutionary gift when you are in real danger- i.e. a lion sprinting at you in the wild. But what happens when this roaring lion is your boss? Your unpaid bills, or toxic relationship that is putting your body under constant stress? WIth your sympathetic nervous system constantly on and coping skills exhausted, your body and mind are now at the hand of chronic stress.

Start identifying your sources of stress, and more importantly how you can better cope. That leads me to my next point….

5. GIVE YOURSELF SOME “ME TIME”  

Meditation, exercise, journaling, therapy, or spending time in nature. Did you know a holistic approach to your health actually requires self care (Eliopoulos, 2017). Deliberate time dedicated to your health- whether physical, mental, emotional or a combination, is crucial to relax your nervous system. For plenty of ideas, check out my post 20 Self Care Examples That Meet YOUR Needs.

6. THINK BIG PICTURE

We say body, mind, and spirit for a reason. Not to be confused with religion, spirituality is the common thread through all religions and belief systems. It implies a connection with all living creatures and to something greater than our physical beings and self here on earth. Try to find what that means to you- think about starting a meditation or prayer practice, or simply establishing a daily quiet time for reflection, letting go, opening perspective, and just being. We all must remember, we are human-beings, not human-doings.

7. CLEAN UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT

So far everything has touched on your internal environment, however our external environment can play just as big of a role in living a holistic lifestyle. Disruptors in the home or workplace including chemicals, heavy metals, toxins, and pesticides can enter the body through air, food, or water and reach toxic levels in the body disrupting hormones and causing inflammation and disease.

The switch doesn’t have to be drastic or break the bank. Check out my post on How to Transition to Clean Beauty, or consider a few DIY Non-Toxic Cleaning Supplies that are not just better for your health, but usually better for the environment and your bank account.

8. LOOK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Check-in on your relationships with friends, family, and partner(s). Is there mutual respect, trust, caring, and equal time exchanged? Support in relationships filled with non-judgement and unconditional love is crucial to overall health, whereas undermining relationships can lead to stress and poorer health choices.  Just like toxic cleaning supplies, cutting out toxic relationships can be hard and inconvenient. Establish boundaries to create space for healthy relationships, abundance, and growth. Easier said than done, but far worth it in the end.

9. CONSIDER AN ALTERNATIVE HEALTHCARE PRACTICE OR PRACTITIONER

If you feel you are lacking resources and your health is not being fully addressed or advocated for, consider a holistic medicine practitioner instead or in conjunction with your current provider. They may use a variety of conventional western practices, but also takes lifestyle - diet, exercise, sleep, stressors, environment, relationships, mental health, and spiritual practices into consideration.

They may also refer you to complementary and alternative therapies such as massage, acupuncture, yoga, reiki, or naturopathy. As a future family nurse practitioner (FNP) I am very biased in using nurse practitioners for holistic care.

10. STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF

Empowering yourself to be an active participant in your health is at the foundation of holistic health, but being overly judgemental or hard on yourself is detrimental to your wellbeing! Focus on the positive changes you ARE making and keep evolving from there.

I hope this provides a broad introduction to start considering your health through a holistic lens. Changing your health can feel overwhelming, but take a deep breath, smile, and pick a few of these points to start making small, realistic changes.

If you liked this post, check out my 10 Essential Grounding Practices to Reconnect or 25 Mental Health Tips to Beat the Winter Blues.

What are your favorite holistic practices? Comment below or share on social media!

References:

American Holistic Health Association

American Holistic Nurses Association

Eliopoulos, Charlotte. (2017) Invitation to Holistic Health: A Guide to Living a Balanced Life. Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Seward, B. L. (2013). Managing Stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Sudbury, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

20 Self Care Examples That Meet YOUR Needs

Self Care

is having an absolute moment right now.

The idea is everywhere from a quick scroll through instagram to covers of magazines. Despite our current obsession with self-care, we need to pause and ask ourselves, “are we doing self care right?”

what actually is self-care?

In essence, self-care is deliberate time dedicated to your health, whether that’s physical, emotional, mental, or a combination. It’s the active role you take to improve or maintain your health. In fact, self-care is actually a requirement to the holistic approach to health (Eliopoulos, 2017).

However, there’s a misconception that self care has to be soothing and feminine like a lavish bubble bath or day at the spa. While I am a huge advocate for a candle lit bath after a long day, that bath is not serving you if you are soaking in self-criticism or can’t seem to put your mental to-do list on hold.

The beauty of self-care is that it is whatever you, your body and mind need to show up for yourself, your loved ones, and the world. It is your time to decompress and connect with yourself. Self care doesn’t have to be expensive, extreme, or what the capitalist market is telling you it is. It can mean attending a feminist march or saying no to a girls night out to rest.

practice makes perfect

Another important thing to understand is it’s called self-care practices because just like any other practice- soccer practice or yoga practice….it’s a practice! You will know what works for you and if you feel more relaxed, centered, and full.

The point is, find out what works for you and try incorporating a self-care practice everyday by working it into your morning and/or nighttime routine. I’m excited to share my favorite “go-to” practices, but experiment so you have your own toolbox to reach into.

Self Care Tips for YOUR Needs. Do you:

need to quiet your mind from the noises of everyday life?

• Go for a walk, preferably in nature where you can feel the earth under your feet and sun on your face.

• Practice mindfulness or try meditation. If sitting alone in silence seems too intimidating, start with the calm app or a guided meditation on youtube. Meditation is a practice in itself, so be easy on yourself if you’re a beginning.

• Take a relaxing and calming yoga class like yoga Nidra or Yin Yoga.

• Curl up with your fuzziest blanket on the couch with a new book or magazine.

• Listen to calming music and journal about anything.

• Have a date with yourself where you cook a nourishing meal and work on mindful eating.

• ….yes a candlelit bubble bath can work wonders to calm your nervous system. Get the candles, bath salts, essential oils, and soak in sister.

• SAY NO to a social event and binge watch your favorite series on Netflix. Just remember to stay present. The point isn’t to shut off your brain, but if you feel “cared for” instead of disconnected and boggy, go for it.

need to feel inspired?

• Pick a live music show, a few girlfriends and dance your heart out.

• Channel your inner-millennial Martha Stewart and start a DIY craft, recipe, drawing, or painting.

• Sign up for a group fitness class with your favorite instructor. I always love an upbeat, inspiring spin class to get the booty moving and feel the jams.

• Remember that new restaurant, coffee shop or museum you have been dying to try? Plan a date with yourself, take your time and take it all in.

• Start planning a trip! Friends can’t go? This might be the time for you to consider solo travel

• Watch a documentary or listen to a podcast on your favorite topic.

• SAY YES to a community event, gathering, or meeting that aligns with your values. Put yourself out there and connect.

Charlotte women’s march 2019

Do you need to be kinder to yourself?

This is huge so listen up.

None of these practices will even remotely serve you well if you are trying to meditate telling yourself “I suck at meditation, I’m terrible at this”. A bubble bath is NOT going to serve you if you are soaking in there with thoughts like “ugh my thighs are huge, I hate my body” or “god my friends think I’m a bad person”... And going to a group fitness class isn’t going to do any good if you are constantly comparing yourself to the girl in the front row hitting every beat on that bike in her new lululemon outfit.

• Step one of you being aware of this shitty self-talk is already done, so good job!

• Stop surrounding yourself with people or media that perpetuates this cycle. This is very important and can be the hardest step. Letting go of toxic things or people is not easy, but when it happens, it’s life-changing.

• Replace those words that are constantly playing in your head with the kindness you deserve. Tell yourself what you love most,  “I am a great friend”, or “I am creative and talented”. Practice breathing in peace and breathing out negativity. Literally, I mean it, as you breath in say “I am at peace” and breath out “I am letting go of all negativity”. Check out a few more examples.

Do you need support?

• Call a friend or family member, but try to keep the conversation energy-positive. Sometimes we enter conversations and end up feeling more drained.

• Schedule coffee or tea with a friend nearby.

• Find a therapist or a non-biased outside source to honestly and vulnerably talk through what’s pulling you down.

I look forward to opening this discussion of non-conventional self care, and sharing more of my favorite practices. If you liked this post, check out my 10 Essential Grounding Practices to Reconnect or 25 Mental Health Tips to Beat the Winter Blues.

What are your self-care practices? Comment below or share on social media!

References
Eliopoulos, Charlotte. (2017) Invitation to Holistic Health: A Guide to Living a Balanced Life. Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Holistic Health 101

Holistic Health

…what exactly is it?

For those who don’t know, I’m a nurse. I originally entered the medical field to make a difference, to heal, to save lives. After a few years of nursing on inpatient units, I knew I was keeping patients alive, but I wasn’t even scratching the surface to help individuals reach their greatest healing potential. In terms of the health of my patients at the bedside (and my own), I quickly realized conventional medicine was missing a huge piece- maybe even missing the whole point.

In 2016, my interest in holistic health intensified to more of a passion as my mom unexpectedly faced a frightening breast cancer diagnosis, an aggressive form known as Triple Negative. Nothing could prepare her or our family for the harsh realities of this diagnosis. My mom was always somewhat “granola”…our family had an understanding of toxins in relation to the body and disease, and we rarely had harsh chemicals in the house. So when SHE, someone healthy, young, and somewhat aware of carcinogens went through this, I instinctually started digging deep into environmentally-related disease, preventable holistic practices, and natural remedies. After a year of chemo, radiation, and surgery, my mom is now cancer free and kicking ass (GO MOM!).

I mean, Hi mom! is she thriving or what?!

Although her care was medically superb, I was discouraged and frustrated with her medicinal and medical-focused team. There was constant hesitancy and resistance to include natural measures, even if only complementary to her treatment plan. In addition, it seemed anything to address her spiritual or emotional needs had to be handled by HER, through her own motivation, research, and on her own dollar. Being on the other side of the patient/medical team forced me to shift my own perspective as a nurse. As an RN and future Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP), I hope to focus my career on providing patients a holistic balance, while also embracing natural and preventative practices to reach optimal health.

We, especially Americans, are facing increasing rates of chronic disease, cancer, stress, anxiety, and depression, in addition to more pollutants and toxins than ever in our food, air, and water. Whether we are trying to prevent disease, decrease side effects, or avoid increasing medical bills, shifting to more natural and preventative measures to health seems inevitable. We keep hearing we need to live more holistically, or as some may consider “the hippie lifestyle” but what exactly does this mean?

Although this seems like a trendy term, the principles of holism have been around since Hippocrates 2500 years ago. Eastern healing traditions of Ayurveda and traditional Chinese medicine suggest it has been around even longer.

The American Holistic Health Association (AHHNA) states, "rather than focusing on illness or specific parts of the body, this ancient approach to health considers the whole person and how he or she interacts with his or her environment. It emphasizes the connection of mind, body, and spirit. The goal is to achieve maximum well-being, where everything is functioning the very best that is possible."
Let’s break it down.

Holistic Health by definition:

• Takes the whole person into consideration - body, mind, spirit, emotions and environment. These factors and all integrated, interacting, and inseparable. If one part is not working, all other parts will be affected. We must be in a balance and harmony of all of these things to achieve positive state of being and optimal health.

• Looks at the root cause of the disease or illness, and does not just treat the apparent symptoms.

• Believes you are an active participant in your health and the one making decisions in your day-to-day wellness.

• Overall, holistic health is a way of life - it’s about making conscious decisions everyday to prioritize all aspects of your health.
  (Eliopoulos, 2017)

Sound pretty logical right? Unfortunately, this has not been reflected in our modern healthcare system especially in the west. Our biomedical, “sick” model and reductionist tendencies to analyze the body into parts rather than the whole, is failing patients on so many levels.

We are definitely catching on, realizing more than ever that we need to shift our perspective on our own health and more importantly on healthcare overall.  This interest in preventative measures and personalized care has pushed individuals to explore outside practices and complementary therapies. In fact, it is suggested that 34% of American adults now use complementary and alternative therapies like meditation, dietary supplements, yoga, Tai Chi, chiropractic, and osteopathic methods (Clarke, Black, Susan, Barnes, & Nahin, 2015).

I would like to be clear here, holistic care is not the same as complementary therapy or alternative medicine. While complementary therapies are often an aspect to holistic healthcare, the terms cannot be used interchangeably. Again, holistic care implies a balance and harmony among the mind, body, and spirit. Complementary therapies alone may not be adequate to address overall health and do not guarantee holism. They should be used wisely, safetly, and with thorough consideration and research. First and always, discuss these or any changes in your healthcare plan with your physician or medical team!

The good news is that you don’t need to drastically change your life to start living holistically. You also don’t need to only eat the food you grow on your roof and do yoga seven times a week (although I am definitely not going to argue against either…). By making small changes and bringing it back to basics like eating nourishing food, regularly moving, and getting adequate sleep, you can quickly redefine your health. If you are ready to embrace a more holistic life, check out How to Live Holistically Now. I promise, it’s not as far-fetched as you think.

I am excited to share my experiences with holistic health now and through my journey of becoming a primary care practitioner. Please share your experiences with western medicine, natural health, and holistic practices! Leave a comment below or find me on social media.

XO,

Jac

References:

American Holistic Health Association

American Holistic Nurses Association

Clarke, Black, Susan, Barnes, & Nahin. (2015) Thrend in the use of complementary health approaches among adults: United States, 2002-2012. National Health Statistics Report, 79. Retrieved January 5, 2016, from http://www.ced.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr079.pdf

Eliopoulos, Charlotte. (2017) Invitation to Holistic Health: A Guide to Living a Balanced Life. Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.